kneelinggirl:

koobaxion:

Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill the me from this universe” and he was just kinda like “alright, you do that”. And then the other nurse kept going in and out of the room to get things and I thought there was like 5 of her that kept coming out of the room, and then so when she was wheeling me out in a wheelchair I was like “damn… why are there so many of you… there’s like 5 many of you” and she was just kinda like “alright, you do that”.

Anyway I got to the car and my dad was there and he was like “how ya feeling son” in the dadliest way possible and I was like “MAN I AM PUMPED LETS GET SOME JUICE I’M STARVED” so we drove about 3 blocks to a jamba juice, whereupon I say “I’m good I can do this” and run/drunkstumble 30 feet to the door. I burst in the door like a viking returning from some fucking battle and holler “WHATS UP FUCKS” to everyone in the store, which was thankfully just the 2 people behind the counter, who looked probably as scared/confused as a jamba juice employee could look.

So anyway, as my dad explained the situation I looked up at the jamba juice menu and was utterly fucking lost in it. Like I swear I was looking at this menu board for a year, deciphering this Rosetta stone of fruits. I distinctly remember that I was looking at each item in a smoothie, thinking of how it tasted, then moving on to the next thing and thinking of how that tasted, and how they would taste together. Since most smoothies had 3 or 4 items, this took some thinking. So my dad sees me in this extreme brain blast state of mind and says “hey are you going to order or what”. Keep in mind I’m on the first fucking smoothie on the list here. So I just say “shush man I’m trying to do fruit science”, and then when I realized that this process could take literal years, I just said “yeah give me a smooth regular” which for the uninitiated, isn’t actually a real thing on any menu. Oh, also I asked them if the “boosted” smoothies would give me super powers and then pointed my fingers at them and made “lightning noises”.

So my dad just orders me the first thing on the menu and I go to sit down and stare out the window or some shit and my thoroughly amused dad just looks at me and says “how ya feelin?”. Now at this time I was feeling a lot of things, but most noticeable to me was the gauze in my mouth, so I just look at him and say “there’s these fuckin… tiny sheep in my head” which at the time was the best way I had to convey this feeling. Anyway about that time, the jamba juice guy brings us our drinks and he gives me a small thing of mario kart stickers and I swear I almost cried from the tsunami of emotion that gift made me feel (I still have them).

Anyway the rest of the story is we drove home and I explained this programming project I was working on to my dad in perfect detail somehow and then I came home and went on facebook and posted a comment on my friends status (because I couldn’t find the status update bar) that read: “i just took a lort of painkillers and yelled at everyone in a jambo juice”

This may be the funniest thing I have ever read. There are actual tears coming out of my face.

(via teenagerposts)

Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, The Yearling
(via books-n-quotes)

(Source: booksnquotes.com, via books-n-quotes)

Now he understood. This was death. Death was a silence that gave back no answer.

(via memewhore)

purple-kitty-unicorn:

small-asexual-child:

anxietyproblem:

If you can relate to any of these please follow us @anxietyproblem​

All of these are me tho

My entire life is in this

(via psych2go)

Dorothea Tanning, A Table of Content (via books-n-quotes)

(Source: booksnquotes.com, via books-n-quotes)

It’s hard to be always the same person.

Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a RockStar
(via naturaekos)

(Source: goo.gl, via psych2go)

There are things we never tell anyone. We want to but we can’t. So we write them down. Or we paint them. Or we sing about them. It’s our only option. To remember. To attempt to discover the truth. Sometimes we do it to stay alive. These things, they live inside of us. They are the secrets we stash in our pockets and the weapons we carry like guns across our backs. And in the end we have to decide for ourselves when these things are worth fighting for, and when it’s time to throw in the towel. Sometimes a person has to die in order to live. Deep down, I know you know this. You just can’t seem to do anything about it. I guess it’s a sad fact of life that some of us move on and some of us inevitably stay behind.

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Expectation:

Reality:

(Source: randomness-is-epic, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

stars-bean:

“Now, which one of you can tell me the difference between an Animagus and a werewolf? No one? How disappointing.”

(via dailypotter)

books-n-quotes:

“There’s none so blind as those who will not listen.”

— Neil Gaiman, American Gods

(Source: booksnquotes.com, via books-n-quotes)

mysharona1987:

There is no part of this diatribe that is not amazing or 100% true.

(via gryffindorfightingheart)

torracat:

i feel so betrayed when im watching something on youtube and i try to pause using the space bar and instead of stopping the video like god intended it just fuckin tabs halfway down the page

(via life-in-the-flatts-lane)

10knotes:

They should put prizes in tampon boxes, be like yeah your period sucks but here’s 50% off of some icecream.

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)